Lyrics by Lynn Ahrens
Music by Stephen Flaherty
Kelsey Grammer (Vladimir), Liz Callaway (Anya), Jonathan Dokuchitz (Dimitri)

Vladimir:
You were born in a palace by the sea.

Anya:
A palace by the sea.
Could it be?

Vladimir:
Yes, that's right.
You rode horseback when you
were only three.

Anya:
Horseback riding? Me?

Vladimir:
And the horse...

Dimitri:
He was white!

Vladimir:
YOU made faces and terrorized
the cook!

Dimitri:
Threw him in the brook!

Anya:
Was I wild?

Dimitri:
Wrote the book!

Vladimir:
But you'd behave when your
father gave that look!

Dimitri:
Imagine how it was!

Vladimir:
Your long-forgotten past!

Vladimir, Dimitri:
We've lots and lots to teach you
and the time is going fast!

Anya:
All right. I'm ready!

Vladimir:
Now, shoulders back and
stand up tall

Dimitri:
And do not walk, but try to float.

Anya:
I feel a little foolish.
Am I floating?

Vladimir:
Like a little boat!

Dimitri:
You give a bow.

Anya:
What happens now?

Vladimir:
Your hand receives a kiss!

Vladimir:, Dimitri:
Most of all, remember this:

Vladimir:
If I can learn to do it,
you can learn to do it.

Dimitri:
Something in you knows it--

Vladimir, Dimitri:
There's nothing to it!

Vladimir:
Follow in my footsteps,
shoe by shoe!

Vladimir, Dimitri:
YOU can learn to do it too!

Vladimir:
Now, elbows in and
sit up straight

Dimitri:
And never slurp the stroganoff.

Anya:
I never cared for stroganoff!

Vladimir:
She said that like a Romanov!

Dimitri:
The Samovar.

Vladimir:
The caviar.

Anya:
Dessert and then goodnight?

Vladimir, Dimitri:
Not until you get this right!

Vladimir:
If I can learn to do it

Dimitri:
If he can learn to do it

Vladimir:
You can learn to do it!

Dimitri:
You can learn to do it

Vladimir:
Pull yourself together

Vladimir, Dimitri:
And you'll pull through it!

Vladimir:
Tell yourself it's easy

Vladimir, Dimitri:
And it's true!
You can learn to do it too!

Vladimir:
Next, you must memorize
the names of the royalty.
Now here we have Kropotkin

Dimitri:
Shot Potemkin

Vladimir:
In the Botkin.

Anya:
Oh!

Vladimir:
And dear old uncle Vanya
loved his vodka

Dimitri:
Got it Anya?

Anya:
No!

Vladimir:
The Baron Pushkin

Anya:
He was?

Dimitri:
Short!

Vladimir:
Count Anatoly

Anya:
Had a...

Dimitri:
Wart!

Vladimir:
Count Sergei

Dimitri:
Wore a feathered hat.

Vladimir:
I hear he's gotten very fat.

Anya:
And I recall his yellow cat...

Vladimir:
I don't believe we told her that...

Anya:
If you can learn to do it,
I can learn to do it!

Vladimir:
Don't know how you knew it.

Anya:
I simply knew it!
Suddenly I feel like someone new...

Vladimir, Dimitri:
Anya, you're a dream come true!

Vladimir, Dimitri:
If I can learn to do it,

Anya:
If I can learn to do it

Vladimir, Dimitri:
You can learn to do it!

Anya:
You can learn to do it

Vladimir, Dimitri:
Pull yourself together

All Three:
And you'll pull through it!

Vladimir
Tell yourself it's easy,

All Three:
And it's true--

Vladimir, Dimitri:
You can learn to do it,

Anya:
Nothing to it!

All Three:
YOU can learn to do it too!